Gendered Care: Stereotypes and Ideas Around Caring Masculinities

This presentation opens a reflective, collaborative conversation on why caring remains a gendered concept, and how stereotypes about masculinity continue to shape young people’s identities, career choices, and societal expectations. In the context of LGBTQ+ History Month, the talk invites colleagues to examine how gender norms and sexuality intersect with caring roles, and how these stereotypes still pose limit.

The central question is: Is care gendered yet? If caring is a universal human capacity, why does society persist in imagining it as feminine? Despite progress toward inclusivity and diversity, the association between care and women remains deeply embedded in cultural norms. This is evident in the NHS—where nursing is still predominantly female, yet men who enter the profession often progress more quickly into leadership or technical specialisms like intensive care or emergency departments. These patterns highlight the cultural messages that discourage boys and young men from seeing care as a valued or “appropriate” career.

This gendered messaging begins early. Younger male adolescents in the UK are still heavily policed by “lad culture” and homophobic undercurrents, where emotional expression, gentleness, or interest in caring activities may be met with teasing, exclusion, or stigma. Boys who deviate from stereotypically “masculine” activities—such as sports, banter, or risk‑taking behaviours—are often labelled as weak, “soft,” or “gay,” irrespective of their actual sexuality. This policing of masculinity reinforces toxic norms and discourages boys from engaging in caring, compassionate, or relational behaviours. It also shapes their later career choices and reinforces the idea that care belongs to women.

For LGBTQ+ young people, these pressures are even more pronounced. Men who display empathy, gentleness, or emotional openness—behaviours essential to care—may be labelled as effeminate or assumed to be gay. The stereotype of the “gay nurse” or the “effeminate carer” reveals how deeply society conflates caring with femininity and non‑heteronormative masculinity. Even within LGBTQ+ communities, forms of internalised homophobia and “masc‑only” cultures—visible, for example, on gay dating apps—continue to frame vulnerability, empathy, and emotional expression as undesirable or unattractive.

The talk draws on a wide range of research showing that men in caring professions often face suspicion, stigma, or questioning of their motives. Some experience shame or embarrassment when caring work clashes with traditional masculine norms, leading them to avoid intimate tasks or emphasise physical strength to reclaim masculine identity. Migrant men often face an added layer of complexity, negotiating cultural expectations from both their home and host societies.

Yet research also highlights positive pathways. Some men use care work to redefine masculinity, embracing empathy and emotional engagement as strengths rather than weaknesses. Early exposure to caregiving—such as looking after relatives—can normalise these roles and encourage men to enter female‑dominated professions. Gender‑sensitive education and career guidance, starting in schools, can challenge stereotypes and expand young people’s understanding of care.

Ultimately, caring masculinities—forms of masculinity grounded in empathy, emotional openness, and relationality—offer a powerful challenge to restrictive gender norms.

LGBTQ+ histories of community care, chosen families, and activism demonstrate how gender and care can be reimagined in inclusive and transformative ways. By questioning stereotypes from adolescence through adulthood — in families, schools, and workplaces — we can foster communities where all forms of caring masculinities are valued.