Imposter syndrome to confidence: My journey as a woman in STEM

When I look back at my first year studying Computer Science, I can’t help but smile. Not because it was easy (it wasn’t), but because I can clearly see how much has changed in the way I understand myself, my ability, and what it means to belong in a space that once felt intimidating.

I still remember walking into my first Computer Science lecture. I had never coded before and, within minutes, it felt like everyone else had a head start. Around me, students spoke with ease about concepts like bytes, operating systems, and technical terms that sounded like a completely different language. I sat there quietly, trying to absorb it all, while silently wondering if I was already behind. I felt so out of place. That feeling only intensified when it came to speaking up. I rarely raised my hand, not because I didn’t have questions, but because I was afraid of sounding less capable than the people around me. Add to that the obvious imbalance in the room: the ratio of men to women was stark. I had come from an all-girls high school where confidence felt natural, then entered a new environment where self-doubt became second nature.

Over time, though, I began to understand something important: confidence isn’t a moment, it’s momentum. Small steps taken over time can lead to something unstoppable. Below are three key realisations that shifted my perspective:

I didn’t have to change who I was to belong

At first, I felt pressure, subtle but real, to blend in. To present myself in a way that matched what I subconsciously believed a “typical” Computer Science student looked like: the heavy “been coding since I was 12” vibe, joggers-and-hoodie uniform, gaming CPU starter pack. I’m not a gamer, but I remember looking up gaming PCs and CPUs just because that’s what everyone seemed to be talking about, and I thought those were the things that would define me.

Eventually, I realised that was unnecessary. I could show up as myself, feminine, put together, and unapologetically me, and still be serious about my work. I didn’t need a gaming CPU to understand operating systems, or 12 years of coding experience to understand how a C program works. Of course, that background helps, but I realised those things do not count on a CV. What does count is the work I put in. This became one of my earliest confidence breakthroughs: femininity and competence are not opposites. They can exist together, fully.

I stopped using other people as my measurement

In the early stages, it was easy to assume that the loudest voices in the room were the most capable, or that understanding a concept quickly meant someone was automatically more intelligent. But progress is not a competition, and learning is not always linear. Some people speak confidently while still figuring things out. Others take more time but develop depth and strong foundations. My confidence grew when I stopped comparing timelines and started focusing on building my own. Hard work became less about proving myself and more about developing myself. I worked hard for myself, not for the sake of comparing myself with anyone else. Yes, it’s good to admire people and be inspired, but when other people’s progress becomes a point of insecurity, that is something worth questioning.

I found role models who reflected me

One shift that strengthened my confidence was finding role models I could see myself in. I began paying attention to women in tech, especially Black women in Computer Science, who were excellent at what they did and unapologetic about who they were. Seeing people who shared my background thriving in this field didn’t just inspire me; it expanded what felt possible. It reminded me that I wasn’t an exception trying to squeeze into someone else’s world. I was part of a growing community with a place here too.

To any woman in STEM reading this

If you’ve ever walked into a lecture and felt out of place or stayed silent because you were afraid of looking inexperienced, I want you to know you’re not alone. Many of us start with more questions than confidence, and that does not disqualify you. It’s part of learning. With time, effort, and support, confidence becomes less about feeling fearless and more about showing up anyway. As a reminder: “You don’t have to shine brighter than all the other stars to be a star.”